It stems from a place of gentleness, a place of letting go of the control we want over others and choosing to unconditionally love. This love empowers people to be who they really are.
I love this quote from Danny Silk on honor:
"A culture of honor is created as a community of people learns to discern and receive people in their God-given identities. The clear fruit of establishing a culture of honor is that the resurrection life of God begins to flow into the people's lives, homes, and communities, bringing healing, restoration, blessing, joy, hope, and wholeness. If we don't see this fruit, we must ask ourselves if we are truly honoring those around us as we ought."
That quote is so powerful to me.
I think quite possibly because I am just coming to understand honor. See, my background is not one filled with loving others deeply for who they are. I grew up in a culture of gossip and disrespect, so much so that it became a pattern I had to break free from. In high school I developed unhealthy friendships, ones filled with hidden bitterness, jealousy, and gossip. I surrounded myself with these toxic behaviors because it felt comfortable to me. Coming from a "split home" I never fully learned to give honor to my parents or family either. It was in getting married and coming into authentic community where I started to see these ugly patterns for what they were, and start dealing with them.
If "life flows through honor" then death must flow through dis-honor, or hatred.
Sometimes the mean-girl patterns are so engrained in us from our past that we don't realize how toxic they are. If you have hidden toxic patterns in your life, cleanse them. Start with love. Let go of the need to control, the need to be seen, the desire to be accepted. Position yourself with open arms and ask God, the God of all love to help you break free.
In close, I am so thankful for Erin, who has loved me and accepted me in much immaturity and allowed me to grow at my own pace. Her radical friendship has opened my eyes to an honoring community and I am so grateful.